This was the title of a video recently published by a male s@x coach.
I felt furious, exasperated, in disbelief.
The largest study of female 0rgasm in The Journal of S@x and Marital Therapy (2017) found that only 18% of women can reach 0rgasm through penetration alone [I actually think it’s lower].
SO YES, TOUCH HER CLITORIS [and ask before you do].
Annnd what she needs even more than that is…
=> For you to show up, follow through, and keep your word
=> To get still and listen to her bodyTo give her your undivided attention
=> To softly inquire how she feels, and listen to her
=> To explore her body with the tips of your fingers, the palm of your hand, the edge of your tongue, and ask, “Like this? Or like that?”
=> To stroke, massage, and hover your hands over every part of her body EXCEPT her genitals for oh – about an hour – before you even THINK about touching her clitoris.
=> When you suspect, but are unsure, if she’s just had an orgasm, ask her, “how are you feeling?” or “was that an orgasm? A wave of pleasure?”
=> Make it safe for her to express herself. Say, “I want to hear what you like.” “Let me know what feels good.”
==> When I teach men how to understand the female body, and most importantly – how to communicate with her, guess what?
She enjoys it. A LOT. So does her partner.
Let me be clear –
A woman needing clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm is NOT:
A barrier to overcome
A sign that that a man is inadequate
But how do you know for sure?
Hot s@x awaits you, just talk to each other.
That is all, I love you!
PS => The well-meaning sex coach’s advice: “If your woman can’t come through penetration, and touches herself during s@x, don’t worry, it’s not YOUR fault, buddy. Enjoy your life. You can also use a different position that presses on her cl1t, or you can use your thumb.”
PPS => Coming soon! My follow-up article, “What to do if your man needs his pen1s touched to reach orgasm.”